How to beat United?

Question of the Weekend (How to beat United?)
Mar 6, 2009 Weekend Question
THE POSTMAN’S QUESTION OF THE WEEKEND: WHAT strategies can Jose Mourinho use with his Inter Milan team so that they can beat Manchester United at Old Trafford in the Champions League next week?

1. Mourinho to do the “Special Dance” in front of Sir Alex at the hallowed Old Trafford ground thus confusing the hair dryer, making him hotter and blocking his view
2. Mourinho to run along the touchline like the linesman, berating every Man Utd player for every tackle making them feel guilty
3. Mourinho waving to the Old Trafford fans as he ran along the touchline as if he is thanking them for the Porto memories
4. Mourinho declaring himself to be the ONE RIGHTFUL successor to Sir Alex at the centre circle before the game starts, confusing everybody
5. Mourinho contacting the ‘ugly one’ Ronaldo to welcome him to Inter-Milan thus making Cristiano felt wanted
6. Mourinho again boasting that Ibrahimovic as better than Ronaldo and Berbatov combined but parked him in front of Ceasar’s goalmouth with the other 9 players together with the bus
7. Mourinho to send a poisoned bottle of wine to Sir Alex and toast him before the match starts
8. Mourinho to warn the referee before the game not to chat with Sir Alex or else….remember waht happened to that Swedish referee?
9. Mourinho to swear in Italiano and Portuguese, saying that he meant to say I LOVE YOU ALL
10. Mourinho and all his managerial/coaching staff to wear dark glasses with trench coat to look menacing like MIB
With the 10 must-do to cover all areas, Inter will surely win at Old Trafford.